This was originally posted February 26, 2010.
I deal with suicidal, unipolar depression and I take medication daily to treat it. Over the past seven years, I’ve had two episodes that were severe and during which I thought almost exclusively of suicide. I did not eat much and lost weight during…
I can’t even
"American Dream #3" 45 x 32 inches. 2014
Acrylic, blueprint, graphite, ink, poster paint.
1) Go into a gay bar and loudly complain about what a sausage party it is.
2) Shush people who aren’t talking at the library.
3) Go to a public pool, swim to the middle and scream “fire!”
4) Walk into restaurant wearing black clothes. Walk up to any recently seated table and take their drink order. Leave restaurant.
5) Dress in a dog costume. Always. Sometimes as a dog wearing a sailor suit.
6) Walk around the mall yelling for your mom, like a lost child would.
7) Stain your crotch with fake blood. Walk around book store browsing nonchalantly.
8) Go to movie theater, pick the saddest drama there. Laugh uproariously through entire movie. Clap loudly at the end. Shout for an encore.
9) Buy a scratch-off lotto ticket, scratch it. Assuming is it NOT a winner, jump up and down in the store or store parking lot cheering and whooping. Run up to nearest person, hug them, and shove ticket in their hand before you run away.
10) Walk through the park talking on cell phone whilst dragging a dog leash behind you with a flaming/smoking collar on the end.
I love bee puns and I make no APIOLOGY for it! Buy Polly the Bee stuff at redbubble.com/people/wolfehanson!
The first of three (count ‘em: 3!) POLLY the BEE designs, you can buy today on Redbubble.
Buy my stuff! I have intestinal parasites to feed!
Rick Perry, whilst in San Francisco mind you, compared homosexuality to alcoholism. I dunno you guys, it sounds like he’s speaking from experience…
Here are a selection of new slogans for this platform Perry is proposing in Texas:
"You booze, you cruise (for men), you lose."
"Just say no twinking and driving."
"Friends don’t let friends drive gay."
"Being gay will get you nailed." (tagged for workshopping)
"Get high on LIFE, not WEINERS."
"What’s your anti-dick?"
"M.A.D.D. - Men Against Delicious Dicks."
"Boo to Glory Holes, Yay for Glory WHOLES…be gay for Christ!"
"This is your brain. THIS is your brain on butt-stuff."
"2 Smart 2 Start (being lezi)."
"(butt) Crack is Whack."